understanding the rapids.

life can be compared to a river.

every once in a while there will be calm spots, but large stretches of river are rapids, of all sizes. 

there will be good times in each of our lives; times when things seem to work out perfectly. it's a calm stretch where everything fits together, pieces fall into place and being content simply means sitting back and enjoying the scenery. then, there are the rapids. some will be small, and you simply have to hold on tight for a second until you're over the rough patch, but others will be class five rapids that leave you hanging on to whatever you can with the tips of your fingers for what seems like eternities. i've had rapids in my life that leave my mind and body numb and exhausted because i've just been trying to survive for so long, just like bracing yourself to travel down intense rapids would.

looking at this river from the bank or an overlook, it's beautiful and awe inspiring. looking at the river from the middle of a little plastic raft... well it could be downright terrifying. 

being in the middle of a series of rapids is scary. 

taking a step back towards the bank and realizing that the journey we're taking down the river is incredible is a crucial part of our spiritual, physical, and mental growth. keeping a heavenly perspective is so important, yet so often forgotten. i know i forget to step back all the time, but it's alright because i have a river guide that shows me the safest routes around the sharp rocks, eddies, and logs that could drag me under. 

trusting your river guide is a leap of faith sometimes. God knows that we're scared, and we just want to be in a calm stretch again. however, he also knows that traveling down the hard road will teach us things we couldn't have learned any other way. 

this week, i'm working on trusting my river guide more fully. after all, he knows my river better than i do. 

angels.

these are my two closest friends and i. 

they probably don't realize how amazing they are and how much they mean to me, but all i can say is that i'm so ready for a hell of a year with these ladies.

xox

jess

we like bonfires.

i love bonfires. i don't know why it's taken us so stinkin long to drive up that canyon and burn some pallets. after 45 minutes of trying to get that fricken wood to burn, we got a nice blaze going, with some awesome girls and guys. this was the second all nighter i've pulled in a row, and honestly i don't know how i keep my sanity. especially because our fire lasted until 4am. haha. it was a blast and a half. ohhhh college. it's a good time.

xox

jessica

some sunday things.

look how dang beautiful my home is. and look at that beautiful temple. i sure love this place.

i've never really been one to be openly spiritual, or one to share personal spiritual experiences without being prompted or asked. but, there are some things i've been thinking about lately that are just amazing and i feel like should be shared.


YOU WILL NEVER BE LEFT WITHOUT A PLACE TO TURN.
i have found this to be more true than i ever thought it would be in the last couple months. someone might show up out of the blue and say, "here, let me help you," or situations might miraculously work out that just a day before seemed hopeless. and, when nothing else works, listen really closely with your heart. your father in heaven is probably trying to tell you something. but it doesn't really matter which way help comes, it just matters that it always will. 

THE EARTH IS A BEAUTIFUL, MIRACULOUS, AMAZING, PERFECT PLACE.
i've decided that i love being up before the sun rises, and before the birds even start singing, and watching the sun rise. i am so lucky. working out at the barns has just solidified my love for animals, nature, and hard work. there is something infinitely remarkable and satisfying about the partnership that humans have with these animals. sometimes i swear at them and call them stupid, but i really do love them. i couldn't be any more blessed that every morning is spent around these horses and cows that i love so much. i have witnessed some seriously amazing things in those barns, and i truly believe that our relationship with god can be made stronger through spending time with his creations.

THERE IS NO ONE YOU CAN'T LOVE ONCE YOU KNOW THEIR STORY.
incidents and trials in my life have changed me in a lot of ways in the last year or so. i've become less trusting and i usually assume the worst about people at first. it's not a very good way to live, but this new semester in school has already shown me that there really is no one you can't love once you know their story. now that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't annoy you & you don't want to smack them every time you hear their voice, it just means that you understand that they have had trials in their life that have shaped them, just like you've had some that have shaped you, and that they're doing their best.


really though, my life is kind of a mess right now but it doesn't even matter. i just feel so blessed, that there isn't any room in my heart for stress or unkindness or anxiety. and that's all.

xoxox
jessica.

p.s. i love this song.

weekends.

this weekend's area government retreat was a blast.

there was a ton of service and bonding and learning that happened and i loved every second of it!

in other news:

WE FINALLY MADE IT TO 30 FOLLOWERS!

one of my goals for 2012 for this blog was to get there and we did.

i'm real excited.

midterms are this week, i'm nervous.

i'm going home on thursday for the first time since the beginning of august and i'm so excited. but mostly just to ride my horse. 

yeah, you can see my priorities. 

xoxo

jessica :)

how is it already october?

how is it already october??

i feel like i live in some sort of time warp. 

it feels like i've been in college forever, but also like it hasn't been that long at all! 

all the sudden october is here but it feels like it needs to be november. 

yeah i don't know. haha. 

i'm thoroughly convinced that logan, utah is one of thee prettiest places on earth during the falltime.

fall in logan means 

long hikes up the canyon with sam, 

weaning the foals, 

carving pumpkins, 

drinking apple cider, 

and pulling out the sweaters.

tomorrow is supposed to be in the low 60's and i'm so excited for fall weather to finally be here in full swing. 

also, why did no one ever tell me to get spotify earlier?

it's only the coolest thing since microwave popcorn.

in other news,

i really want a good steak and mashed potatoes. yum. which leads me to my next subject.

today i had class on the killfloor, so basically i watched three cows go from living breathing cows into cuts of beef. it was really interesting to say the least. and i'm pleased to say that i have a stronger stomach than i thought at first. 

when people are pushy i'm purposely difficult and belligerent just to make them mad.

bad habit? haha yes.

& i think that's it for today.

love, peace, n blessins.

xoxo

jessica :)

guys, i'm just so busy.

s t r e e t  p a i n t i n g

street painting is exactly what it sounds like. 

we close down major intersections in logan (with the help of the police) & then we paint a bunch of utah state stuff on the streets for homecoming week.

it's so much fun oh my goodness. i had paint in my hair for like, four days after. 

b a n n e r s  f o r  d a y s

basically... we have a bunch of ugly and unecessary banners hanging in our living room. 

it's just like whatever. 

oh. and my roommate is so cute.

today i rode this little mare named sue. i call her suzy q. 

she's the most beautiful bay ever and i just love her so much. (see above).

she's a reined cow horse so she was so much fun to ride. 

really light on her mouth and front end, has real nice spins and shes also really fast and cowy. i like that.

i love horses so much. a;lskdfja'slf.

in other news.

i wanna go fishing really bad. take me?

i'm working true aggie night, so stay tuned for some super awkward and awesome stories about random people kissing on top of an A under the moonlight. wow. just saying that makes me feel awkward.

i love utah state.

i'm super busy and should be asleep right now but whatevaa.

it's fine.

xoxox 

jess.

it's fall.

logan canyon, september 21.

bait a hook, man.

some girls say, "i want to marry a country boy."

i say, "i have to marry a country boy."

if you don't know how to bait a hook, start a tractor, or back up a horse trailer with 2 tons of horseflesh inside, i'm afraid that you're automatically disqualified. i'm nowhere near as country as some people i know, but living in the open with acres of nothing but backroads and horses to keep me company is something that i've learned to love so much that there's no way on God's green earth i could give it up. 

give me a man who can drive a truck, knows how to work, and can be gentle yet firm, and that's really all i need. them city boys... sorry, you wouldn't be able to handle me. (or my horse, for that matter.) sometimes the city girls think they can have the country boys, but if you're afraid to get mud on your boots and dirt in your hair, don't deserve one. 

cause you know what they say,

country boys can survive, 

ladies love country boys,

and hell yeah.

xoxox

jess :) 

le weekend.

i love this picture. its so typical of me and butter.

jessica: oh butterscotch you're so pretty let me hug you.

butterscotch: but you've been hugging me nonstop for the last three years, can you just let go of me?

jessica: but you're so pretty and i just love you and...

butterscotch: no but really. i'm going to lift my head up until you're forced to let go.

jessica: butter, put your head down, i'm not tall enough to hug you when you do that.

yeah. just like that. 

anyways. i had a killer weekend. like really it was so great. 

to sum up:

sadie.

tim.

clara.

coleman.

video.

eagle fun days.

campfire.

madison mallory.

marshmallows.

fire.

winco.

more fire.

bohemian rhapsody.

love.

yay.

chocolate lava cake.

knit skirts.

snapchat.

:)

& she thinks we're just fishin.

today my pops & i went fly fishing. 

we're both big fans. 

but crazy things happen when you put jessica in her natural habitat.

(also known as the wild.)

we kinda got lost on some random backroad and made our truck real dirty.

its a good thing my dad likes country music as much as i do.

we drove through mccall & i really wanted to go lay on the beach.

we didn't catch any fish, 

but we did get humongous diet cokes. 

the stinker store is mint.

and here's a song for your listening enjoyment.