do i really want what i thought i wanted?

i never knew what i wanted to be when i was a kid.

people would ask me "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

the answer was always, "i don't know, i guess i'll figure that out when the time comes."

fast forward to freshman year of high school. i was suddenly thrust into the horse world. i was completely in love. i still am completely in love. all of the sudden, horses were a long term part of my future. then, after i moved to idaho,  i was dating a cowboy. he was a senior at the time, and was applying to utah state. usu had never even been on my radar. to be honest, i'd never really heard anything about it, but through him i found out about their equine science and pre vet program. it sparked my interest, but really not enough to get me that interested. i'd always wanted to be a political science or economics major. i'm really good at that kind of stuff. 

then all of the sudden, i woke up one morning and kind of knew that i wanted to be a vet. i hadn't ever thought about it before. i talked about it with my parents and they were 150% supportive.

so now here i am, sitting at utah state, which happens to be my dream school, majoring in equine science. i've decided to double major in bio veterinary science as well. lately though, i've really been questioning whether i have the ability to go through with this whole thing.

i don't know if i'm capable of learning enough, or working hard enough, or measuring up to what it takes to become a vet. i don't even want to start my own practice. i don't know, i guess it's still too early to decide what exactly is going to happen with my life. 

it's also about that time to start thinking about a minor. 

i've narrowed it down to either

spanish,

economics, or

business.

i just cant choose.

blehhh.

growing up is so much harder than anyone said it would be.

xoxo

jessica