days like today, you wanna make em last.

i have the greatest friends ever. i love it when colton calls randomly and we go out and ride around 50 acre pastures for hours at a time. i love my abs being sore because i've laughed so hard at the stupid things we find funny. i love logan. i love the cowboys i've been hanging out with lately. i love going to roping jackpots and checking out all the guy's butts.  i just love my life.

we like bonfires.

i love bonfires. i don't know why it's taken us so stinkin long to drive up that canyon and burn some pallets. after 45 minutes of trying to get that fricken wood to burn, we got a nice blaze going, with some awesome girls and guys. this was the second all nighter i've pulled in a row, and honestly i don't know how i keep my sanity. especially because our fire lasted until 4am. haha. it was a blast and a half. ohhhh college. it's a good time.

xox

jessica

muddin.

i love these two kids so much. lauren makes me laugh so hard i want to pee my pants and jason is there for good talks, advice and for his knowledge of all the good places to go muddin in cache valley. today we went and ran my truck through this little (and by little i mean not so little) mud puddle today. it was so needed, that thing has been way too clean for way too long. 

i don't know how you city kids keep your sanity. 

mud is so much fun. 

xoxo  

jessica :)

sun & pickup trucks

i especially love days like today.

in the pre-vet & equine programs, there's an awesome sense of camaraderie. i've only known most of them for less than a year, but i'm going to be with them for the next five or six. we're all so different, from all over the nation, but we all have a common purpose. we're here to help animals, and by extension, help their owners. working with people on farms really brings you together. today i was talking to a guy in one of my classes and he said "you know jess, i'd trust you to stitch me up if i had a really bad gash and i couldn't make it to a hospital." haha what a compliment, huh?  i trust these guys & girls more than anyone. i mean, we let each other drive each other's trucks... thats like the highest form of trust. they've got my back & i love them. 

the sun today was so incredibly needed. i forgot what it was like to get in your car and having to roll the windows down because it's hot inside, or to be walking around classes and get too warm with a sweatshirt on. it's kinda awesome. hey spring. you should stick around for a while. :)

xoxo

jessica :)

when saturdays were actually saturdays.

when i was growing up we had a very specific saturday schedule. 

if things didn't happen a certain way, it was because someone was dying. seriously. 

nothing changed the fact that every saturday, we woke up a few hours later than normal, went out to feed the animals, then came back inside and had pancakes & eggs as a family. then, we went back outside to clean the barn, groom and exercise the horses, weed the garden, clean the chicken coop, go to the feed store, fix fences, and play with the dogs in the pastures for hours and hours. 

while i've been at school i've missed that. most of the time, i work on saturdays & do homework until the sun goes down again. but today, the girls & i made breakfast, cleaned up a little, did some laundry, and have nothing else on the agenda but to watch pride and prejudice. today feels like a real saturday & i kinda love it. 

-jessica.

gratitude tuesdays.

la vie est belle, indeed. 

i'm grateful for an awful lot today.

-days & moods that are turned around from the simplest things.

-handwritten letters from missionaries. they are so inspired.

-genuine compliments from people.

-best friends who aren't afraid to tell me how it is, and then help me fix it.

-really big diet cokes. 

-clean sheets and a made bed.

-self confidence. 

-tickets to general conference with clara in two weeks. 

-old friends that call to catch up.

-80's & 90's country music. seriously. if there was ever such a thing as feel good music, this is it.

-boys who understand that sometimes you just need a super huge hug.

-the weather being warm enough to open windows

-payday.

-march is almost over.

-when something just clicks & you understand why things have been happening the way they have.

-my new mixtape >>> (honestly. so much can be said with a well thought out mixtape. burn a cd and i promise we'll be friends forever.)

-patriarchal blessings.

-parents who help me see the big picture but also leave my life up to me.

so. as you can see. my life is really amazing.

xoxo :)

beyond homesick.

growing up sucks.

 i think that being an adult is so hard for me because i hold on to things that were and i worry to no end about things to come. ever since coming back from idaho last week, i've been so incredibly homesick. i have this huge pit in my stomach and an ache in my heart and i just need to be back there. 

i miss eagle high school, our old house, my horses, and my best friends, who are now spread out all over the world either on missions or at school. writing letters to them is fine and all, but it's not the same as getting a really big hug from clara and kaitlyn, gossiping with summer & landon and running and jumping on blake's back in the middle of the hallway. i miss driving a half an hour to hang out with jake, landon and nate every weekend. i miss making fun of my teachers and all the drama shelli created. i even miss the debate kids yelling at us for being too loud & the devil vice principal confiscating my bag because i refused to use a locker. 

i miss having seminary with my brother and always skipping with brennan & parker to get donuts, and brother tanner getting pissed at us for doing stupid things. as shallow as this sounds, i miss walking through the hall and having everyone know my name and come up and tell me hi & ask me how i was doing. i miss having way too much fun to care that i was probably going to get in trouble for skipping english to play my guitar with the jazz kids instead. i miss playing my music so loud in the barn while i was cleaning that michelle would complain and then come downstairs to help me. 

i miss fighting with my sister over the brushes & if tanner was being good enough to saddle herself on any particular day. i miss summer and i being attached at the hip. i miss being a part of the stang gang, driving around with all the windows down and the sunroof open, & going to sonic with clara. i miss flirting with the football boys. i miss going to concerts with chas & my friends and i making each other mixtapes. i listened to every single one of those CD's today, and i don't think i've cried so hard since last april. 

i just really want to go home. 

there is absolutely no reason for me to put pants on today.

1) i love this place. the sunrises are always phenomenal & make me glad to be alive.
2) just because i said no to one guy does not automatically make me dating the other one. i don't even like him. you guys are retarded. stop jumping to conclusions.
3) people are so dishonest sometimes it makes me sick. if there is one thing i've learned in the last year it's that honesty is the most important factor in any relationship. also, don't lie about stupid things because you're jealous of someone else.
4) i wish i could fall back asleep right now.
5) i have learned the past few months that having people come into your life that are just like you can be either an amazing blessing or a serious temptation.
6) for being spring break, there's a surprising amount of people walking around campus.
7) i make mistakes. i'm human. i know one thing and then sometimes i go and do another. but wanna know something? that's okay. every day i'm working towards a greater goal. some days are harder than others, and sometimes i'm embarrassed about things i've done, but the beauty of it is that i can shake it off and be forgiven and it's all alright again.
8) i'm loving working at the farm & the dairy this week. it's always nice to get some variety.
9) i really wish i was still in idaho.. this whole "lets spend spring break in logan" thing sucks.
10) there is absolutely no reason for me to put pants on today and i am so glad.

that about sums it all up. have an amazing day you guys!
xoxox
jessica :)

i like carbs.

i realize that the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the picture of this cute mare and her baby. but ya know what? i really do like carbs. like bread. and potatoes. and steak. in fact sometimes i feel like a man because i just want steak. it's a problem. hahahahah what who am i kidding it's not a problem. it's great. 

it was 46 degrees today and i almost cried i was so happy. i didn't know what to do with myself. so. i drove to class early, made some crystal light, played some loud music. it was great. but i lost my favorite pair (read: my only pair) of sunglasses. so... thats sad. but hey jack the grass is showing and that's a big deal.

when i'm older i want to live in tennessee. and texas. actually... probably not texas. my dad's from there and i've heard horror stories. but who knows. 

MY MIDTERMS ARE DONE HALLELUJAH. (i just spelled hallelujah right on the first try. hallelujah.) 

my camo shirt got a hole in it. oh well. that means i get to buy four new ones to replace it. muahaha.

i love duck dynasty. and i'm kinda really glad i'm going home next week to watch the new ones i've missed. roommates are dumb. and duck dynasty is funnier when i watch it with my brother. did that rhyme?...

mmkay thats all. 

xoxo

jessica

march first.

five things that don't suck about today

ONE. 
i got some much needed girl and horse time without the stress of a lesson. it's amazing how therapeutic burying your face in a patient horse's mane is.

TWO. 
27 dresses is on tv. as far as chick flicks, this is on the top half of the list fo sho. 

THREE. 
my apartment smells like the caribbean. it's nice.

FOUR. 
i love my girls and all, but having a good talk with a boy is always nice. guys have a totally different perspective on the world, & talking to and getting advice from him was so needed. 

FIVE.
rekindling old friendships. i love catching up with people i haven't talked to in months or years.

oxox
jessica

it's all about the long term.

GOALS. 

if you're anything like me, you hate that word. something about the sound of it, and the memories of dumb leadership seminars and young women's lessons make me hate the word "goal". i have heard the words "take some time to write down long and short term goals on this piece of paper" so many dang times it makes me want to punch a wall. the mere mention of someone telling me to make goals makes me want to do the exact opposite, and have absolutely no goals. (it's my belligerent side coming out).

lately though, i've realized why adults put so much pressure on young people to write down what they want to do with their life. having long and short term goals makes doing the things you want to do more fun, and more importantly, it gives you the strength and insight to fight through the hard times. 

it gives you the ability to wake up at 4am every day for 6 hours of work 

& still be able to stay on top of your classes. 

it makes the days spent covered in horse & cow crap much more bearable. 

it helps you learn to appreciate a good night's sleep. 

the days spent working outside in the below freezing weather go by quicker, 

and sore muscles and a tired mind recuperate quicker. 

the way i see it, you can either let your life defeat you or you can let your life teach you how to grow and become a strong, hard working, brave, kind, resilient person. to me, having the long term goals constantly in sight (along with a heavy dose of faith) makes all the hard, terrible, exhausting days worth it. i know exactly what i want, and i know i'm getting closer every day.

i love the direction my life is headed, 

and i'm excited for the future.

xoxo

jess.

things i don't understand about girls.

it's not a wonder that boys love us girls. i mean, come on, we're beautiful & majestic & we smell nice. but, regardless of the plus sides of women, my own gender tends to confuse me sometimes. we're emotional & catty and more often than not, really crazy. there are some things that us girls do that i will probably never understand. and here they are.

the gossip: a girl can tell you all she wants that she never gossips about other girls, or that she's not catty, but ya know what? living with a bunch of girls has taught me otherwise. and guess what? the ones who say they're not good at living with girls are the most catty, cause they're used to the boys catering to their every need. i've seen it multiple times. girls tend to run their mouths, & even though they tell themselves that they're not gossiping... they are. in fact, the amount of drama girls cause is directly proportional to how much they say they hate drama. truuuth. 

goo-hoarding: i got this term from jenna marbles and it is literally spot on. i don't know about the rest of the girls in the world, but i am completely incapable of totally finishing a beauty product. it really doesn't matter what it is. shampoo... nail polish... facewash... mascara... lip gloss... chapstick... moisturizer... you get the idea. i can't do it. the bottles are always like 1/8th full and they always take up space in my cupboards. it's an epidemic. maybe there should be a show on tlc about it. haha.

how we insist that boys be perfect: you see this all the freakin time. girls can let themselves completely go and be unhealthy, but they can tell themselves "i'm beautiful no matter what!" which i believe is true to a point. but. the thing that really irritates me is that us girls expect to find a prince charming when we're really not cinderella... at all... yeah. one of my roommates and i were talking about this the other day. if you're a 10, you're probably going to attract a 10. and by 10, i mean you're a kardashian and can marry whoever the heck you want. if you're an 8, you'll attract an 8. if you're a 4, you're going to attract a 4. that's just how it is. so stop complaining about how no hot boys like you and take a freakin look at yourself, and find a boy that's like you. cause chances are, if you're not model material, you're not gonna marry a model. that's how relationships work, y'all.

all that crap inside our bags: but mostly receipts, random objects, and super old pieces of nasty gum from like, six months ago. yeah i don't know why we insist on keeping trash inside our bags. pieces of paper, old granola bars, (in case we're suddenly ravenous), 138593 tubes of lip gloss, chapstick, etc., 3 or 4 empty gum packets, movie ticket stubs... you get the idea. 

the things we lie about: no, i don't like him. yeah i like never have to study for anything. of course this is my real tan! i never watch that show. i miss you! no, i'm not jealous! so glad i'm single, best thing ever. i have like 500 followers on pinterest. i love you so much! lets hang out soon! he's just my best guy friend. of course i don't like him still. i am so fat right now. i can eat like whatever i want without getting fat. no, of course i'm not on my period. i know how to drive a stick. i'm so happy for you! enough said? yep. i think so. 

so, what don't you get about girls?

xoxox
jessica :)

do i really want what i thought i wanted?

i never knew what i wanted to be when i was a kid.

people would ask me "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

the answer was always, "i don't know, i guess i'll figure that out when the time comes."

fast forward to freshman year of high school. i was suddenly thrust into the horse world. i was completely in love. i still am completely in love. all of the sudden, horses were a long term part of my future. then, after i moved to idaho,  i was dating a cowboy. he was a senior at the time, and was applying to utah state. usu had never even been on my radar. to be honest, i'd never really heard anything about it, but through him i found out about their equine science and pre vet program. it sparked my interest, but really not enough to get me that interested. i'd always wanted to be a political science or economics major. i'm really good at that kind of stuff. 

then all of the sudden, i woke up one morning and kind of knew that i wanted to be a vet. i hadn't ever thought about it before. i talked about it with my parents and they were 150% supportive.

so now here i am, sitting at utah state, which happens to be my dream school, majoring in equine science. i've decided to double major in bio veterinary science as well. lately though, i've really been questioning whether i have the ability to go through with this whole thing.

i don't know if i'm capable of learning enough, or working hard enough, or measuring up to what it takes to become a vet. i don't even want to start my own practice. i don't know, i guess it's still too early to decide what exactly is going to happen with my life. 

it's also about that time to start thinking about a minor. 

i've narrowed it down to either

spanish,

economics, or

business.

i just cant choose.

blehhh.

growing up is so much harder than anyone said it would be.

xoxo

jessica 

oh dear.

i hope you guys like random posts, cause this one is the grandaddy of all random posts. haha.

if you can't walk the talk, then don't talk at all.

sometimes i forget things. 

i'm honestly one of the most forgetful people on the planet. 

i'd like to think that i'll remember your name, and your birthday, and when i have class, and what homework i have to do, and where i put things.

but lets just be honest, i forget things too often.

watching some people try to flirt is just painful. like, please no. 

i know that sounds mean but in all reality it just makes me uncomfortable.

in most situations, i end up vacating the premises.

I HATE SHOWERING.

well. 

i love taking showers.

 but i absolutely hate getting dressed after. 

you're all wet and you have to dry off and put clothes on again (i hate wearing clothes...)

and my hair is all wet and it takes a solid half hour to brush out... yeah. 

sometimes when i get bored in class i just like to watch people. 

they're weird.

nuff said.

getting out of bed is the hardest part about waking up. 

if i could do school and work from my bed, i absolutely would.

it's so much easier to sleep in and skip class when there's snow on the ground.

oh, speaking of snow.

logan got it's first snow on tuesday! 

it was delightful.

for me, the good life is driving back from the barn covered in mud, smelling like cows and horses, and blasting dierks bentley. 

my goodness my life is great.

peace n love n blessins!

xoxo

jessica 

sinners like me.

i'm so happy today.

for quite a few reasons.

1) roommates who love me

2) rain

3) passing my midterms

4) 7/11 diet cokes

5) jason aldean's new album

6) that boy 

7) my new heifer 

8) long hair

9) new playlists with new music

10) going home for the weekend

11) this song

xoxo
love you all.
jess :)

weekends.

this weekend's area government retreat was a blast.

there was a ton of service and bonding and learning that happened and i loved every second of it!

in other news:

WE FINALLY MADE IT TO 30 FOLLOWERS!

one of my goals for 2012 for this blog was to get there and we did.

i'm real excited.

midterms are this week, i'm nervous.

i'm going home on thursday for the first time since the beginning of august and i'm so excited. but mostly just to ride my horse. 

yeah, you can see my priorities. 

xoxo

jessica :)

lame horses & club calves.

guys, i have a confession to make.

i'm turning into a full fledged redneck.

i talk like them, i dress like them, i act like them... (sometimes i even smell like them.) (but don't tell my mom.)

but hey, i love it.

there's this horse at the university that i love to death. she's been really sore lately & today during our lesson she started limping way bad and didn't even want to put any weight on her front foot. so, the vet got called out to look at her. we thought it could be a problem with her shoe but really it was just a muscular soreness problem. he just gave her a bantamine shot & she's on stall rest now and will be all better by the end of the week, which is good. cause i love her.

i love my life oh my freaking heck. 

i love being around horses and cows and sheep everyday, and learning about how animals work and what makes them tick. 

like today in one of my classes, i learned that if you give bute (horsey advil) in a shot, if you put it outside a vein it melts a hole in the muscle. yep. and in my other class i learned about the structure of an egg, and it turns out that theres a lot more to it than just a yolk, shell & white. haha.

i'm doing this thing at the university called club calves.

basically what we do is train a weaned calf (either a steer or heifer) to lead at the halter 

and perform show maneuvers.

if you know someone that needs to learn serious patience, send them to club calves. 

we'll make them the most patient person on the earth.

if you thought training horses was hard, they're freaking geniuses compared to cows.

the calf i was helping with today had just been de-horned & had a bunch of stitches on the top of his head. while we were pulling him around he banged his head on the fence and burst his stitches... so me & the other girls ended up with a bunch of cow blood on our arms. yay?

this is what a de-horned steer's head looks like.

this is one of my besties jayden & her steer joshy.

all the club calves.

as always, 

life is good & people are crazy. 

 xoxo

jess :)

byu vs. usu 2012

it took us four hours to get to provo from logan (which is basically ridiculous) and i don't even care that we lost the football game. i got to see all my besties and life is good! 

we stayed in wendy's condo overnight & then i ventured to my grandparents for conference. 

it was the greatest weekend ever.

<3 jessica 

how is it already october?

how is it already october??

i feel like i live in some sort of time warp. 

it feels like i've been in college forever, but also like it hasn't been that long at all! 

all the sudden october is here but it feels like it needs to be november. 

yeah i don't know. haha. 

i'm thoroughly convinced that logan, utah is one of thee prettiest places on earth during the falltime.

fall in logan means 

long hikes up the canyon with sam, 

weaning the foals, 

carving pumpkins, 

drinking apple cider, 

and pulling out the sweaters.

tomorrow is supposed to be in the low 60's and i'm so excited for fall weather to finally be here in full swing. 

also, why did no one ever tell me to get spotify earlier?

it's only the coolest thing since microwave popcorn.

in other news,

i really want a good steak and mashed potatoes. yum. which leads me to my next subject.

today i had class on the killfloor, so basically i watched three cows go from living breathing cows into cuts of beef. it was really interesting to say the least. and i'm pleased to say that i have a stronger stomach than i thought at first. 

when people are pushy i'm purposely difficult and belligerent just to make them mad.

bad habit? haha yes.

& i think that's it for today.

love, peace, n blessins.

xoxo

jessica :)