hard places.

have you ever noticed that trials come in series? i feel like the saying "when it rains, it pours" can be accurately used to describe this last week and a half. there are so many things that are going wrong.

this week has been an awful one. a girl and a boy from my high school were in a very serious car accident earlier this week. my brother was really close friends with the boy, and i was acquaintances with the girl. he will be fine, while she is still in a coma. i was friends with her older sister, we graduated together. and while we were never especially close, i feel hurt in my heart for her and her family. i can't imagine getting up in the morning and wondering if today was the day my only sister would finally wake up and be alright. i am so proud of haley for being so strong, and i look up to her more than words can say. her beautiful sister has been in my family's thoughts and prayers constantly.

it was also finals week. i failed one of my classes and had a serious three day long panic attack while frantically trying to figure out how to pay for my school next semester. i still haven't found a solution, but it's a constant, prayerful process. i also found out that i'll have a new roommate next semester. the ones i have right now are crazy enough, and having to deal with losing wendy and getting a new one might just push me over the edge. but, i know it will be all okay. wendy will be an amazing ra for the girls upstairs and my new roommate might just be exactly who i need.

and of course, on top of this cake was the shooting today. no one knows why things like this happen to the most precious of God's children, we only know that we have to trust his plans. i cannot imagine the heartache and grief and anger that the parents, families and friends of those sweet, sweet children are experiencing tonight and will be living with for the rest of their lives. it's so hard not to question our heavenly father, and be bitter when things like this happen. those precious babies are in the arms of our savior and have already fulfilled their purpose on earth. they are home now.

perhaps the hardest part of these tragedies is that they happened right in the middle of the Christmas season. maybe it's a reminder to us to keep Christ the center of this holiday, and realize that nothing we receive this season is greater than the love and sacrifice our savior gave us. He is the reason that our minds can be at peace in this crazy, awful, wonderful world. He is the reason that i am comforted when i think of those people that were part of the shooting, the adults and the little children, both the ones that have passed away and the ones who survived, and i know that their peace of mind will return and that their families will be reunited with them.

i am so grateful to be with my family tonight, all of us safe and sound under one roof. i love them to the moon and back, and i pray that the same safety finds you and your loved ones tonight. give them all big hugs and kisses before bed and make sure they know how much they mean to you.
love always,
jessica.